The Hobbits take the TARDIS
by TimeLadyJamie
Summary: A small drabble brought on by the meme of never missing breakfast when one has a time machine!


This came to me from a meme of the Doctor saying "It's a Time Machine! You never have to wait for Breakfast!" and then Merry and Pippin smiling happily. Enjoy!

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 **The Hobbit's take the TARDIS**

 **Lord of the Rings/Doctor Who crossover**

It was another beautiful day in the Shire as cousins Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck were out doing their usual hobnanigans of stealing food from Farmer Maggots crop.

Pippin and Merry were sneaking around in the corn fields. "Pip, be quiet!" Merry whispered. "We don't want to alert the dogs."

Pippin was tiptoeing quietly, trying his best to be sneaky. Making it to the fields with carrots, he looked in awe. It was a feast. "Merry, we've hit the jackpot today!" He whispered, giving a quiet laugh.

Merry looked in joy. "Alright Pip, lets get on this!"

The two cousins began to make their way around the fields picking up foods they wanted while keeping an eye out for Farmer Maggots Dogs. It was then when Pippin happened to come across the ultimate jackpot of food, that they had lost.

"M-MUSHROOMS!" Pippin yelled, as Merry facepalmed and the three dogs, Grip, Fang and Wolf came charging after them. The two Hobbits began running as fast as their feet would let them, holding onto the food they carried for dear life.

"Great going Pippin!" Merry shouted.

The Took Hobbit gave a sad look. "Sorry, I was just surprised to see Mushrooms this time. You know how much I like them."

"Well now it's going to get us caught!" Merry looked behind him to see Pippin was lagging behind. "Come on, hurry Pip!"

Pippin was running and trying his best to keep up. He looked back and stopped, laughing. "I think they've given up Merry!"

It was then when Merry looked back in front of him that he saw one of the dogs. He stopped right in his tracks, which caused a startled Pippin to drop the food he was holding. The Brandybuck Hobbit looked to the potatoes he managed to get and then the dog. "Nice Dog, go fetch!" He threw the Potato and the dog went to get it.

He quickly grabbed his cousins wrist and they ran far away from the dog. Pippin looked saddened. "No, Merry! But the food..."

"If we didn't get out of there fast, we would have become a dog food!" Merry told him.

Then suddenly with a thump, both the cousins ran into something, falling to the ground. They looked up to see a blue box in their path.

"What do you suppose that is Merry?" Pippin asked, looking to it curiously.

Merry stood up and began walking around it, studying it. "A box obviously...but what is it doing here?"

Pippin joined him by his side, putting his hand to the door handle. "Lets take a look inside!"

They both nodded and grinned at each other as Pippin opened the door and the sight inside the box left them speechless. Pippin closed the door and blinked his eyes. "Did you see?"

Merry nodded. "I don't know what that was. How could all that possibly be in this box?"

Pippin opened the door again and they began to walk inside the strange bigger on the inside box. The cousins looked around in amazement and awe when suddenly a tall man wearing a bowtie spotted them from the stairs. "Oh my, hello there. I wasn't expecting visitors. You know it's very rude to walk into a person's TARDIS without knocking!"

"Sorry sir." Merry said with a gulp. "We were just curious."

"What's a TARDIS?" Pippin asked.

The strange man sighed. "I'm the Doctor, a Time Lord from Gallifrey and this is my TARDIS. It's a time machine. It can go anywhere in time and space!

"Uh, huh. I see." Merry replied, looking a bit taken back by all this.

The Doctor walked down the stairs to greet them, noticing their small height and hairy feet. "The thing with time travel is...you're not quite sure where you land at times. Where am I and who are you?"

"The Shire. I'm Peregrin Took, but call me Pippin. This here is my cousin Meriadoc Brandybuck, but you can call him Merry."

A smile came to the Doctor's face. "Oh, you're hobbits! I've always found hobbits interesting with your hairy feet and your hobbit holes! Especially eating six meals a day, I still am trying to figure out how you all came to be!"

The cousins exchanged a weird look before looking back to him.

"Speaking of meals, we haven't even had our second breakfast yet." Pippin told him.

The Doctor came up to them and put his hands on their heads. "Not to worry my tiny friends, this here is a time machine! You never have to wait for breakfast! Or even second breakfast!"

"What about Brunch?" Merry asked.

The Doctor shook his head.

"Elevenses?"

"Nope."

"Lunch?"

"Nada."

"Tea?"

"No, Never."

"Dinner?"

"No way!"

"Supper?"

"Double nope."

Pippin raised an eyebrow to him. "Not even Snack time?"

The Doctor let out a laugh. "No, little hobbit. There is no waiting for those with a Time machine here like the TARDIS!"

The two cousins exchanged grins and a look of joy. "What are we waiting for then? Let's get second breakfast!" Merry shouted.

Pippin ran up to the console and messed with the switches. "How do you work this thing?"

The Doctor ran up to him. "No, stop. You're doing it wrong. This is my TARDIS and my rules. No Hobbits touching the console!"

"How will we get second breakfast then?" Pippin gave a sad look.

The Time Lord shook his head and sighed. "No, not the sad look that is meant to guilt trip me." He peeked from his hands to see Merry joining in on it. The Doctor gave into defeat and pulled the right lever which made the machine disappear. "Alright, I'm only doing this once. Got it?"

The cousins nodded and the TARDIS began to appear. Right after second breakfast, the Doctor realized his mistake with these mischvious hobbits as they took over the TARDIS and enjoyed never having to wait for a meal again. Never trust a Took and a Brandybuck when their stomach takes over.


End file.
